Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I wanna feel his Love instead of just hearing him say it
Everyday I find myself asking the same questions and coming up short when it's time for an answer I questioned whether I should even do a blog entry like this the I told myself the more I keep it in the sooner I'll go crazy I'm starting to think I don't know how to appreciate a good thing when I got it because that's what I keep hearing, kind of makes you feel worthless in a since me and my husband got married at a young age I was 24 and he was 22 years old we both wanted what was best for our child and to have a better life that was the most important thing and still is the most important thing the well being of our child but now everything is starting to come to a head reality is kicking in and things are not what they seem responsibilities need to be met and people are not as willing to do what it takes to meet them Marriage is about sacrificing but what happens when you feel like your the only one sacrificing and in the end always the only one wrong. The biggest question I ask myself is am I wrong for speaking up and letting him know where he needs to improve or should I just smile and be quite because he's a great Father, respectful, and to my knowledge doesn't cheat and wouldn't raise his hand to me" now days that hard to come by " is he to good to communication with me compromise for me be there for me without having to get upset, not give him none(sex) or am I just that bad used up undeserving of what I know I DESERVE a true Marriage everybody loves him and I do too but everyday it's something I'm forgiving him for he's always sorry but yet I'm always wrong if anybody can shed some light on this situation please do because I'm tired I'm beginning to think he doesn't communicate with me because he's not sincere about our relationship/marriage broken apologies I hear I'm sorry so much I don't even think he thinks before he says it because before I could completely forgive him we're disagreeing again about if not the same thing a similar or past situation it's getting a little ridicious I know a blog is suppose to have a happy ending SORRY right now I'll just settle for a pain reliever even if no one responds I was able to say how I felt without judgment I feel like I deserve to be loved with no restrictions not having to settle because of my pass I love my husband and my son I just wanna be able to say I completely love my life and rspect myself for the decisions I Chose to make it better. Tria Moore
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2 comments:
My dear sister whom I love with all my heart,
It hurts me to see you going through this, yet it brings me joy because I know that the testing of your faith will produce endurance, but you must let endurance finish its work so that you my mature and complete not lacking anything. Trials are a part of life that we cannot avoid. Some trials are beyond our control. What is within our control is how we respond to trials. James (the half brother of Jesus) says that we are to respond with pure joy. Other trials are trials that we bring on ourselves because of choices that we make. God has a purpose for every trial that we face. His purpose is always to make us better. James tells us that it is to produce character in our life. Paul says trials keep us from becoming conceited (or keep or make us humble). Jesus said that in this world we will have trials and tribulations but we are to be of good cheer, because He has overcome the world. So sis, our life's mission becomes learning how to respond appropriately to life's trials.
With that being said I think what you’re going through is a totally manageable situation. Every human being has the desire to be loved unconditionally. We often look to our mates to fulfill that desire. Our mates cannot fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally. Not only is impossible for our mates to fulfill that desire, it is not fare for us to expect them to. Only God can fill that void that we have to be loved unconditionally. Things will change for you in your marriage when you change your perspective on love in marriage. Love has very little to do with feelings. It's not that feelings have nothing to do with love but feelings are a very small part of love. Love is not what you feel, love is what you do. We cannot be controlled by feelings. Feelings can be misleading and when we allow them to control us we can come up with wrong conclusions. Your husband loves you, his actions prove that. Great marriages don't just happen, they take work, great marriages don't come over night, they take time. Your husband, just like you is a work in progress. When one spouse has unfair demands on another it only makes things worse. Asking your husband to help you to feel loved is an unfair demand. You need to make sure that your loving him. Read 1 Corinthians 13 to find out what love is. You have to realize that your marriage is not all about you. There is another person involved in your marriage, your husband. He has needs just like you do. You can cause him to stumble greatly by putting pressure on him to fulfill things that are impossible for him to fulfill.
I know you need something, just like me, your husband and everybody else, but what we need, only God can provide. We need to be loved unconditionally. We are loved unconditionally, so now we just have to realize that. That's a subject that requires its own attention and hopefully we can talk about it soon. Until then, love the hell out of your husband.
For love sakes,
Your Brother DeAntwan
I just read my boths comment and though I don't completely agree with it after reading 1 Corinthians 13;4-8 It is unfair for me to ask my husband to do something that I am not about to do myself and after reading his comment and the scripture I realize it was a misprint on my part I just want him to love me better but I now realize that I need to love him better as well we're both young and have alot of growin to do marriage and relationships take work you just ave to be willing to do what the scripture says:Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy,it does not boest, it is not proud. it is not rude nor is it self seeking, it is not easily mad, keeps no records or whose wrong or right and in my human nature I don't live that way and I know that isn't fair and I all I can say is I will do better and be better because we are both an example for our son and don't wanna send out the wrong message that giving up or being angry with eachother is always the answer so thank you so much for loving me and my family enough to help open my eyes we Love you, bro
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