Undescribable Love makes you fight for life

When you meet that perfect guy you always imagine falling in love and getting married buying this beautiful house with a fence and life being happy having children and watching them grow up hoping they don't make the same mistakes you made at their age and it's funny because when I first outlined this blog I figured people would assume the Title Undescribable Love, awww she's talking about her husband and though I smile at the thought of being in Love with my husband in that overwhelming I can't get enough of him way there's another male in my life who I can't get enough of our heart beats met about 2 years after me and my husband fell in love he was so trusting and lovable everyday he reminds me more and more of my husband it's sicken he's extremely handsome, shockingly intelligent considering his age, and someone who has made me want to better myself more and more everyday just so I can be around to Love him forever WOW before you guys think I'm confessing Cheating on my Husband on my Blog let me clearify I fell in Love with this person March 5th, 2006 which was the day I found out me and my husband were having a baby it was amazing and special beyond belief I managed to meet a respectable and loving man who wanted nothing more than to be a great Father to this unborn child not to mention I had been told by not one but two Doctors I would never have kids but Gods saw different he Blessed me with Chance I. Moore December 29th, 2006 it was Love at first sight but who knew it would be this intense just the thought of his smile brings me joy and makes me want to give my life to make his better I always knew I loved him but I realized just how much when I recently went in for surgery and it's crazy when you have what you think is a wonderful relationship with God until theres a trial I went from looking at my son crying thinking I'll never see him again feeling I was losing my faith to reality hitting me bringing my faith back knowing God wouldn't give me a blessing I never knew would come true, to him taking me away from him on the operating table before his 2nd birthday I thought to myself God don't work like that and then I made up in my mind in my living room on the floor that if it was his will it would be I prayed to God let your will be done and I made it a point to contact everyone important to me and let them know I love them and appreciated all they done to make my life better, I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life for God to bring me back to my son and family and if he took me give them the strength to continue and watch over my son especially I kinda feel like my husband was a little jealous but he know I Love him Lol he was so supportive and mean when I needed it ( medicine time I hated those big pills) and though I don't remember going to sleep in the Hospital, I remember wonderful feeling of waking up and Thanking God I couldn't wait to see my son just to kiss and hug him and assure him that I'm going to take better care of myself while I'm holding him with tears in my eyes from joy my 22 month old looks up at me and says mommy mommy you okay and I just smile and wiped my tears and said yes honey I'm fine Life is so beautiful when you know you can and you have made a difference in somebody's life the love I have for my son is God's Love through me when he hurts I hurt, you wanna protect them from everything but God is the #1 Pretector and Provider Thank You God for all you done for me and all you will do in future... This Blog was inspired by my busy son whose redecorating my house as we speak but I wouldn't trade the blessing for anything in the World.... Mommy Love you Chance (Noney Honey)

Whose good for your childrens future (vote)

earlier this week my older brother posted a blog Time for a Change and it made people angry because alot of people didn't agree with what he had to say and honestly from the beginning I didn't either I thought it would be good to have a powerful Black man in office until I did my research and though I still don't agree with all of his points I do believe he has some good ones at some point in the term if he wins the election Obama is going to need more than his skin color to get him by he's going to actually have to produce make a difference and it's hard for me to make a decision because to me Mc Cain is just fancy talk and a older version of Bush and we've been there done that I want a President whose going to stand up for our rights and not just claim it and that's where I can agree with my older brother because there were a few things in Obama speech that made me think he's not to sure of himself "Is he just trying to make it sound good for the camera's and the African Americans in the BLACK community I for one do not want to be paying for lazy people to live and though I believe people should have choices and everyone should be equal I don't wanna President who makes it look alright for these teenagers and young women to get pregnany and kill the baby because they feel they weren't ready how is it easier to get a abortion than to sexually protect yourself or use birth control Stop Making Excuses for People who are old enough to know better and though I'm not against same sex relationships I do not think they should go as far as getting married Why because I believe that for most people these relationships are an escape from something much more deeper that's only going to cause more stress and drama how do I know because I been there done that and don't want nor do I need that type of extra craziness going on around my son among other things gangs, violence, etc we need to make positive decisions to him improve the community our children grow up in and not be so blinded by color and not do our research making a decision that will affect our children lives physically and mentally let's put someone in office that's willing to him those helping themselve for ex. I have people at my job IUSD who have Bachelor's and some Master's Degrees
making no more than minimum wages maybe a couple dollars more people with Degrees who can't even get a job for what there worth but we giving jobs to people not even trying your sitting at home recieving free money and benefits while I'm working hard paying taxes and having a hard time getting benefits for me and my family ummm... Please people do you research and don't make a decision that will cause you to hate yourself in the end we've already done that let's not get one idiot out just to move another one in we're still dealing with the consequences of us letting a muscular actor be governor half of the school in our District need teacher's and we can't even hire any WHY? because Arnold did such a job on our budgets there cut so much they damn near don't exists layoffs left and right now whose teaching our kids College student who are kids themselves DO YOUR RESEARCH help make things better ACCOUNTABILITY All I can do is Pray that we make the RIGHT DECISION I'm walking in the voting booth with God who knows better than him what we need...

I've always wanted a sister I think!

Most of my life I was the only girl of a family 4 me, my mom,& 2 older brothers my mother was a single parent who did her best to bring us up with respect and values and I had become content with that lifestyle until December 29th 2006 I was in the hospital giving birth to my handsome son Chance and my Uncle Ray cames by to visit me and says I think I may have found your sister her name is Keisha and we play Tennis together I said oh ok and really didn't think to much of it at the time I was more focused on recovering and getting home to take care of myself and my new son and on top of everything else me and my mom weren't really seeing eye to eye at this time so it was pretty much out of site & out of mind as it's always been until the day me and my husband took our son home on January 2, 2007 and I got a phone call from a lady claiming to be my sister Keisha I was kinda in disbelief because it's like when you want something so bad and out of nowhere it happen I thought it was a joke my uncle is always playing long story short I agree to meet her just to see how realistic the situation was it wasn't reality until there was a knock on the door she bought her mom (who was my dad's wife at the time I was concieved), brother, another sister and her baby there were alot of questions none of us had the answers I'd never met my dad and he had died 5 years before this reunion had took place of course there were a bunch of assumptions made where my mom the home wrecker as they said got pregnant with me while he was still married to their mom here we are today October 6, 2008 and there still negative words being thrown around these people were so eager to become apart of my life so they claim wanting to be close but everytime I'm around them it's usually negativity a few people welcomed me because it's still new and a few people knew of me but others just couldn't believe it like he was some kind of saint or something he had kids come from all over the place and these people were talkin down to me all crazy they would say stuff like she don't look like nobody, I hope she ain't looking for hand outs, her momma don't even look his type she ain't nothing like us she not prissy and her attitude is different she don't even like to have fun we invite her places she don't wanna come and if she do she don't really say nothing what's wrong with her I don't know why she acting like that her mom slept with a married man what did she expect him to make her part of our family I'm thinking wow these people are horrible I wasn't missin out on anything all this time I was crying for my daddy and he wasn't nothing like a good role model he was the complete opposite an irresponsible drug addict who abused his kids, wife, & himself a cheater who ignored his responsibilities and didn't own up to his actions it just makes me angrier and angrier thinking about it who do these people think they are my conclusion is it's easier to blame somebody else but me being a mother and wife myself if I found out my husband had other children I would except them with open arms because it's not the child's fault if anybody's to it would be my husband because it's up to him to respect me and his family I would not be pointing fingers I'd be hurt but as I said before it's not the child's fault me and my husband of course would separate and if in fact we decided not to I would deal with things as they come accountability take responsiblity for the decisions you make in your life and if you have kids think about how it's going to affect them because it's not about you anymore this man is resting in hell I'm sure because I doubt very seriously he got his life together before he past away who knows I always thought having my other side the family in my life would be great girl talk, shopping, all that good stuff sisters do but these people are a trip they make it hard for me to get close or even wanna build a relationship with them they've got me wondering is this reunion a Blessing or a curse now we're finding out he has more kids and theres more drama he has 9 kids that we know of and a couple of maybes 4 different woman now who they gone blame all I can do is pray I don't know what to do whether to try to love them pass the differences or let it go Pray for me...

Nothing but smiles in the end.

Let me start off by saying no pain no gain that's been my model for the last couple of months due to the fact that I have been going to the Dr. for the past couple of months in so much pain Doctor's office after Doctor's office test after test still getting no results going home crying knowing there something wrong questioned myself asking what am I doing wrong have I abused my body so much that I may not be around to see my child grow up beating myself up inside after getting so many different opinions and havung one Dr. tell me it all in my mind I beginning to seriously pray my husband and close family would pray with me my older brother came over and had prayer with me and my husband I mean the situation had really gotten bad my eating habits went down my desire to do anything sexual disappeared (it was to painful) I was always irritated and upset (just tired ) God blessed me I went to the Dr. and took faith and God with me and though theres still pain I know now in the end I be ok because God has a plan for me and I don't believe it's leaving my husband, son and all those who love me at the meer age of 25 I feel a real blessing coming and when it come I just say Thank You jesus Thank You God and smile...

Nothing is ever enough

I titled this blog nothing is ever enough because we're not God we're just his follower's those who believe seeking to get other's to believe what is right and the true way of life. I believe the best way to relate or get through to non- believers is through experiences. everyone has had a life changing experience in which God has revealed himself and you'd have to be a believer to see him and understand his work. God is trying to make us better from generation to generation make us better believers so that we can be better christians, mates, parents, friends, co-workers, etc. God wants to use us to bring non- believers to him by any means necessary which means having no fear of what you may look like who you may be called to witness to and how hard the task may be we must all remember and realize we were all non- believers at one point in our lifes and he brought us out and we may not want to relive some of those past memories but this is where the by any means necessary comes in at you must be willing to at any giving time put it all on the line for God as he would you. For ex. I have drug addiction and alcohol addiction in my family some of my relatives have overcome it by the grace of God and some are still there in need of God's grace at times God will test us to see how strong are faith is not just for ourselves but others especially those we loves knowing someone is abusing themselves or be abused and something can be done and you turn the other cheek God see you as being no better than the abuser any means NECESSARY before trying to witness to non- believers take the time to examing yourself so that you can be completely ready for what's ahead (their responses) and completely ready for the end results meaning how you will feel about you and your life after (their response) be the best Christian you can be at all times be willing to share your experiences no matter how painful to help change someone elses life for the better you got throughit by the grace of God so allow them to see that they can too refer to scriptures Proverbs 10:8-10 the wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fools come to ruin., Galatians 6:7 -10 for the proper time we will recieve harvest if we don't give up., Gensis 26:24 do not be afraid because God is always with you through it all., Act1:3 proof that Jesus christ lives., John 3:16 for God loved the world so much he gave his only son for our sins all he asked is that we have a little faith in believe in his goodness and we shall have ever lastin life. in closing please be th e best Christian you can be so that when that day comes for you to be tested or be called to witness to a challenging non- believr you will be ready God will provide you all the tools through his Book (the bible) and through experience.

I wanna feel his Love instead of just hearing him say it

Everyday I find myself asking the same questions and coming up short when it's time for an answer I questioned whether I should even do a blog entry like this the I told myself the more I keep it in the sooner I'll go crazy I'm starting to think I don't know how to appreciate a good thing when I got it because that's what I keep hearing, kind of makes you feel worthless in a since me and my husband got married at a young age I was 24 and he was 22 years old we both wanted what was best for our child and to have a better life that was the most important thing and still is the most important thing the well being of our child but now everything is starting to come to a head reality is kicking in and things are not what they seem responsibilities need to be met and people are not as willing to do what it takes to meet them Marriage is about sacrificing but what happens when you feel like your the only one sacrificing and in the end always the only one wrong. The biggest question I ask myself is am I wrong for speaking up and letting him know where he needs to improve or should I just smile and be quite because he's a great Father, respectful, and to my knowledge doesn't cheat and wouldn't raise his hand to me" now days that hard to come by " is he to good to communication with me compromise for me be there for me without having to get upset, not give him none(sex) or am I just that bad used up undeserving of what I know I DESERVE a true Marriage everybody loves him and I do too but everyday it's something I'm forgiving him for he's always sorry but yet I'm always wrong if anybody can shed some light on this situation please do because I'm tired I'm beginning to think he doesn't communicate with me because he's not sincere about our relationship/marriage broken apologies I hear I'm sorry so much I don't even think he thinks before he says it because before I could completely forgive him we're disagreeing again about if not the same thing a similar or past situation it's getting a little ridicious I know a blog is suppose to have a happy ending SORRY right now I'll just settle for a pain reliever even if no one responds I was able to say how I felt without judgment I feel like I deserve to be loved with no restrictions not having to settle because of my pass I love my husband and my son I just wanna be able to say I completely love my life and rspect myself for the decisions I Chose to make it better. Tria Moore